Ace-spec

Where it comes to our system, there are differing views on sex, and different kinds of sex.

Some headmates are entirely sex-repulsed and do not participate in sex at all, while still enjoying non-sexual kink.

Some headmates are favorable to penetrative sex, but usually only in the context of fairly extreme acts (e.g. CNC), and if doing such a kink in the outerworld, they feel they would prefer to be the one penetrating.

Notably, our system has a concept of sex that is universally held as the standard for non-violent, non-kinky sex in the system, and it does not involve penetration at all, or even genitals.

We consider it a sexual act to be naked with someone and touch their body, e.g. cuddling or kissing while naked, or kissing someone's body while one or more participants are in a state of undress. We also see biting someone while naked as a sex act.

Not everyone would agree that this is inherently sexual, and they are certainly entitled not to consider it sexual when they do these things, but you would have to agree that it is much closer to being sex than it is to being an act of intimacy you could reasonably do in most public spaces (e.g. brief kissing while clothed).

For us, a lot of this concept of sex is about emotional intimacy as expressed through a physical act of appreciating and caring for someone's body. When we talk about having sex in-system and don't specify acts, or we talk about sex as a thing we would want to have in the outerworld, this is what we're talking about.